Monday, January 30, 2006

So I was thinking....

About writing a book I. Everyone tells me I should I know where to start.
My first image I remember about my life was standing with my brother and my lil squishy clown. The woman we were with was very pretty and looked really sad. She was holding my brothers hand. She was the lady at the Methodist Home in Waco Texas. I don't know how old I was. I remember feeling so bewildered. It is like I can reach out and touch the memory but not quite. It was one of my many visits there.

But in respect to my Foster mother I would maybe wait to write it. Considering the fact that I was the only Hell she ever raised I don't want to send her into shock by writing the story of my life. Some things your mama should not hear about.


Ist of all

You can NOT put a crazy ass rooster in charge of the hen house and that is just what the Dems did? How come we don't have any money left? Well the crazy rooster spent it all on chicken scratch and floozies.


I was just talking about a friend of ours from Colorado and the cool tree frog tatoo he had on his foot and how it looked like a real frog. People would be like Dude theres a frog on your foot. They also had a huge pig roast very year.

Well I just found out he passed a way. It is quite sad he had two young kids and a great wife.

Sunday, January 29, 2006


Just plain wrong I tell ya

How much Cabo is too much cabo really? Can there be too much Cabo. Just DO NOT DRINK THE BLANCO YUCK!!!!


Rain Rain go away. While Texas, Oklahoma and Arizona are suffering from lack of rain we have TOOOOO MUCH RAIN. My fellow Portlanders please step out your front door and do the Indian Rain Dance in the Name of Texas, Arizona and Oklahoma send the rain their way. I know all you crazy libs hate the Red States but do it for the libs that live there. There are a few of them you know.

Head wraps

When I see these guys in the Middle East with their heads all wrapped up with just their eyes sticking out parading around with rocket launchers I just want to shoot them. Is that wrong?
These guys are giant pussies.
They hide behind women and children to fight.
They take women as hostages.
They plant bombs and run away.

The head cover just shows that they have no guts. They are not real men. Real men stand and fight for what they believe in. They let you see who they are before they kill you. These guys are not standing and fighting. They bomb civilians on buses and will not stand and fight real soldiers. Nest time these guys are parading up and down the street with the rocket launchers calling for death to Israel. Israel would launch a big ass crazy bomb right into the middle of them. And they should let Stephen Spielberg push the button that launches it.

Lil ol ladies

What was this lil ol lady thinking? I guess this guy must of been quite the asshole for her to just shoot him point blank. It is sad that her grabdson will have to live with the fact that grand ma shot his dad.


Just what Florida needs something else that can kill you. Alligators, snakes, hurricanes, 6 foot lizards that chase you on their hind legs and now killer bees.,0,1875683.story?coll=sns-ap-football-headlines&track=mostemailedlink

Bob Woodruff

I hope ol Bob and Doug okay. Bob is such a cute lil guy.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

I know its late but..

Crazy Walters 10 most fascinating people of 2005

Kanye West.. Weird egotistical yuck!
Tom Cruise... Yikes, Yipes, Creepy and double Yuck (dudes like crazy chicks, chicks don't like crazy dudes)
Lance Armstrong.... Sheryl Crow Yuck
Jaime Foxx... Another egotistical freak. Who can't really sing has one too many yes men
Camilla Duchess of Cornwall... Husband stealin yuck
Dakota Fanning... mmm not all that interesting future messed up child celebrity made a movie
Tom Mesereau.... nothing comes to mind
Condoleeza Rice... Most interesting indeed
Teri tell me again what did she do
Beth Holloway Twitty... it is a sad story, blame the parents that were on that trip for her daughters disappearance, sue them and make them partly responsible for her disappearance, not just the people of Aruba. The chaperones are getting off scott free.
Galloway should be way more then embarrassed and ashamed. He should apologize to the people of England for acting so outrageous. I wonder if he has actually seen tape of himself acting like a cat.

He says he was raising money for charity. Is the Hamas actually a charity. My impression is that it is a terrorist organization.

He made himself look foolish. And he made the people who voted for him look foolish. Maybe he should concentrate on his defense instead of runnin around actin a fool.

Ms Jackson if your nasty

Its okay for daddy to scare the children, but not the reporters. This man should not have children. Who hangs out with this guy? Does he really have grown up friends?
Does this guy even know he looks like an idiot? Man I wish ted Kennedy would go whacko like this guy. It would be so entertaining.
It makes me sad that Chris Penn is dead. I liked him so much better then Sean. He just seemed so much cooler. He was just like a regular person.
There is really something wrong with this man. I can not say as I have ever heard his music. When I was younger I listened to pop, but the pop music now a days bugs me. They'll let anyone call themselves a pop star. Take Jam,ie Foxx for example.Back to Kanye you can be the best at something and think you are best at something. But being a plain ol jackass about how great you are annoys people. Makes you seem conceited and no one likes that. I mean afterall what do you do sing, dance and flap your jabber jaw too much. Tellin everyone how damn great you are? Get a grip Kanye


Kayne's mama needs to smack him.

Monday, January 23, 2006

Saturday, January 21, 2006

I found this ad on Craig's List....WEST HIGHLAND TERRIER PUPPYS


So what I got from this post is rich people let their dogs run wild and poor people train them. that makes no sense to me. We want our dogs to go to people who can not afford to get them fixed and can barely feed them. WHAT?!?!?!?

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Florida had this link for some cool Viking Helmets. I think I need oone.

George Bush scares the Hell out of Harry Belafonta and stresses out Tipper Gore.

Well thanks Bin for confirming that we were not fighting Iraqis in Iraq. I have been arguing with crazy libs about that for months now.

That we were fighting Terrorist that were pouring in from other countries. That should clear things up a bit.

I wonder what Bin is sending to our homes. A plague of locust, contaminated water, small pox. So when a Muslim terrorist kills someone does that make the people they killed martyrs? Do they get 13 virgins too?

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Poor Leif

this is an audio post - click to play

Maybe Leif should of just stayed in the house and picked at his face some more. Dude doesn't anyone in your area deliver.,0,1737278.story?coll=la-home-headlines

If I were a dude.

this is an audio post - click to play

If I were a dude I would name my penis Mufasa.

Sunday, January 15, 2006


Instead of giving my clothes to the Goodwill I just throw them in the trash so the poor kids have somethin to do.

Fanni's Neighbor

Beaver pelts read out loud

this is an audio post - click to play

Lesbian read out loud

this is an audio post - click to play


So my neighbor told my other neighbors land lord that my other neighbor and I are lesbians that hung out at the bar all day then went some where and did the nasty. I wish I had the time.

HELLO! I am married if I was having sex with the neighbor lady that would make me Bi-Sexual not lesbian. Get it right bitches! How high school are these people? I hate them.

When the guys across the street, who happen to be gay had a party they harrassed their guest by calling them fags and homos and threw eggs at their cars. They are total and complete assholes.

SO I stood in my backyard on Friday night, another activity I owe to Cabo, ringing my dinner bell and yelling that I was a bi-sexual and my neighbor was a lesbian whore. Is that not awesome or what? My neighbor was sawing in the yard so I would wait for the saw to stop and I would ring my dinner bell and yell something. Not sure what all I said. But everyone seemed to enjoy it.

It does not offend me that they called me a lesbian. I mean come on maybe that would offend some redneck like them but, I find the whole thing quite amusing. CUZ you know they ALL want to do it with me.

Beaver Pelts

If you are huntin Beaver pelts 82nd and Harney is a great place to find some. They offer toothless bridge beaver all day long. And if you don't have a car you can ride around to the alley on her bicycle.

1st one

So Thursday night we went to Beaver's Inn. They should change the name to Beaver's out and take off their bottoms. I mean to be serious here. What guy wants to go to a topless bar when the city is crawling places that let their Beaver's out?

It was quite sad. I usually enjoy our little outings to see the ladies. But... I had never been to Beaver's Inn. It was a little scarey. I had my flask of Cabo so I knew I would be fine.

It was weird the walls and furniture were meant. But the stuff had been there so long it was all matted and greasy.

The chicks are so strung out the whole thing would of been sad if tweekers didn't irritate nme so much. The beavers are right smack dab in the middle of tweeker central. I did not even go up to the rak. It was gross in there. And the men that were up at the rak. Were scary. You could have snapped one of these chicks in half like a pencil and there were actually men interested in seeing them.

They had really inventive names too like lovely. I mean come on lovely at least Sahara or Smoki cuz the cigarette hangin out her mouth. She was missen teeth she was not lovely. And the chick that worked the bar she was the lucky tweeker, she got herself a job worken behind the bar. Otherwise we would of probably had to look at her cans.

So guys if you are hunten beaver pelt don't go to the Beavers Inn.

The thing that made the whole trip worth it was the 10 police cars flying by chasing one of those rice races. Probaly had some high school dude driven it in a Ninja Turtle shirt.